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It’s OK to Want More || Why it matters that you know what you want + how to overcome your fears of wanting more

podcast Dec 31, 2023

 

After an intense realization of my own personal desire for more, I'm ready to talk to you about your own desire for more. I discuss what “more” might look like for you, how to let go of the fear, anchor in, and reach for more. Not just for this year, but for all of your years.

 

I am getting into the fear that often compels us to suppress our desires, conform to societal expectations, and become inadvertent people-pleasers. This is a narrative that resonates with many women, myself included, who have spent years living numb to their own wants, inadvertently damaging not just ourselves but the world.

 

Together, we'll anchor into the truth that wants are not only valid, but essential for personal fulfillment and growth. If you're ready for more, tune in and make sure to get the free guide that accompanies this episode.

 

Accepting my limits episode, DSL Workshop, Try Sideshow now!

 

About a few other things...

 

Do you struggle to create habits that stick? It's not your fault. The truth is simple: you've been trying to form habits using methods designed for perfect robots--not real women living real lives. It's time to change that. If I could help you gain confidence in creating habits AND guide you to uncover the ONE supportive habit to deeply care for yourself, could you commit 21 days to learning this method? The Sticky Habit Method is a 21-day course that revolutionizes the habit-formation process. It's real habits for real women.

 

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Songs Credit: Pleasant Pictures Music Club

 

TRANSCRIPT

 

Monica Packer: Hi, this is Monica Packer, and you're listening to About Progress, where we are about progress made practical. When I had my baby a year ago, I expected a lot of things. I expected to be very sleep deprived, to have to learn a lot of things all over again. Breastfeeding, I'm looking at you. I expected that I'd feel really anxious and possibly even depressed.

 

That I'd have a hard time figuring out what to put on my body and how to move it again. And I also expected that I love that little face more than I ever thought possible. And so with my kids and all of those things ended up being very true, but the thing that happened that I was not expecting was an insatiable hunger.

 

I think most women feel voracious after giving birth. And I expected that, but for me, it was this kind of hunger that felt. All consuming and endless. I was never satisfied. I always wanted more. And that feeling of wanting more really terrified me. You see, for the previous nine months, I experienced this perpetual state of nausea, a nausea that was on a spectrum that spanned.

 

From deathly ill to end of the stomach flu ill. And it was the kind that not only made it a challenge to eat, but it also stole all of my hunger cues and my cravings alongside it throughout the entire pregnancy. Now, I was sick with my other pregnancies too, But my morning sickness, can we just do away with this term, by the way, it started sooner and it lasted longer and got worse with each child.

 

But I personally think it didn't help that I was much older than when I had had my last child five years prior. And I was also considered a geriatric pregnancy. Which is another term I think we can do without. So all that aside, when I, when I gave birth and my nausea finally lifted, I felt so good, but I was flooded with things I didn't realize I was missing until it all returned in a flood that consumed me, a flood of hunger, appetite, cravings, and this endless terrifying pull to more.

 

This episode is actually not about food. Pregnancy or the terrible ways we name things that women go through. It's about our fear of wanting more. It's about how we tap down on our desires to do more and to be more. It's about how we are taught that good in quotes, women accept the status quo to not rock the boat.

 

It's about how we are molded to become people pleasers and how that often leads to us tapping down on our own desires, our goals, our ambitions, until we're afraid of even knowing them, let alone speaking them and pursuing them. It's about how many women I know, including myself, spend years, if not decades, living numb to their own wants.

 

And it's about how that damages not just the women, but the entire world. Today, I'm going to talk to you about your own desire for more. We'll chat about what more looks like for you, how to let go of the fear you may have of it, to anchor in, and to reach for more. Not just for this year. But for all your years.

 

Simply put, it's okay to want more. All that is coming up, but first, a quick break for our sponsors.

 

What's a habit you want to work on this year? I already know mine is personal journaling. And if you've ever started your previous New Years with the best of plans for habits you want to work on, but by February or March, they've already decidedly slipped into the good intentions territory. I want you to take me up on something that we are doing as a community in February, and it's called the Sticky Habit Intensive.

 

In this intensive, you'll take one of the habits you want to work on and build it in a three week immersive experience alongside hundreds of women. from the About Progress community. In those three weeks, each week, you'll get one live lesson from me on habit formation outside of perfectionism and one live group coaching call with me.

 

So you don't just learn, you have the support to actually change. Throughout the intensive, you'll also have exclusive access to a private online community For more accountability and motivation as a bonus. After the intensive ends, you'll get permanent access to the sticky habit method course, my habit formation course designed for real women leading real lives.

 

If you have little time, low support and limited energy, the sticky habit intensive is designed for you so you can leave our three weeks together with not only a habit that sticks, but also with confidence to form a lifetime of supportive habits to follow. Join us in forming a habit that sticks and sign up for the intensive at aboutprogress.

 

com slash intensive. Again, that's aboutprogress. com slash intensive. Psst, if you already purchased the sticky habit method in the past, then I have good news for you. Past students will be able to participate in February's intensive for free. For this time only. Check your email for coming details on how to reserve your spot.

 

I think it would weirdly be helpful to define. More, and why it matters that we all can desire more and seek more in our lives, because even defining more is not so self explanatory after all, we're very different people and we're all living in very different seasons. And I think it's really important to start even our conversation and our digging into more with the pursuit of not judging, not judging or policing what more looks like for each other, starting with ourselves.

 

So I want to give you permission right now to own whatever more feels right for you. In general, more to me is anything you long for an increase in. Anything you long for an increase in. So, some examples of this, maybe you want more community, maybe you want more learning, fulfillment, habits, achievements, more friendship, more ambition.

 

Sometimes it's really easy to name what comes to mind right off the bat. And if you have something that just rolls off the tongue as soon as I'm like, what do you want more of in your life? What do you long for an increase in? I would follow that. So, what comes to mind? Sometimes, you can best name what more is of you that you want as a feeling.

 

Maybe you want more peace, more fun. More contentment, more of a push. Other times, we can define more very literally. I want more organization. I want more spiritual study. I want more money in my bank account. I want more systems for our family. I want more personal habits. I want more date nights. And beyond just the feelings and the literal areas of our lives that we can long for increase in, there's also the things that are kind of hard.

 

To name, they're not really a feeling. They're not quite literal, but you know that you want an increase in it. Maybe you want more love in your marriage or love for yourself. Maybe you long for an increase in growth or of depth or intention. I want you to think of if there's an area in your life that you want more in.

 

Let's start by giving you a sentence to complete and this is a way for you to remove the judgment and the standards that you might be imposing on yourself, and I just want you to try to answer this. I want more. If you can complete that sentence, I want you to really lean into naming it. Write down what you want more of.

 

Again, don't judge it. Don't dismiss it, whether it's one thing or many, many, many. I have more on coming on what to do with all of that in just a bit, but first, if you can't complete that sentence very easily, if at all, don't worry yet, because You're not alone. In fact, for many years, I struggled naming what I wanted more of out of my life.

 

I just knew I didn't feel content despite my years of this battle and an inner battle, an insistence on myself that I should be filled with nothing but. Satisfaction because of my life and how good it was. I had a lot of fears with more. So if you are struggling to complete that sentence, I want more.

 

Next, we need to really dig in to what fears you are carrying with it. And for those of you who can even name the more, you're going to have these fears too. Can you think of why you are afraid of wanting more in your life? Here's another sentence starter for you to help you come up with those fears. I'm afraid of wanting more because Now, I've had the privilege of walking a lot of women through anchoring more into their wants.

 

And a lot of their wants have these roots of wanting more of things. And so I've often seen some pretty common fears come up. So I'm going to share with you what I see as the most common fears associated with wanting more. These top fears are a fear of being selfish, a fear of acting ungrateful, a fear of becoming too demanding.

 

A fear of disrupting your family's lives, a fear of abandoning your responsibilities. That one's really, really heavy. When I say that abandoning my responsibilities, a lot of women jump right to, if I lean into what I want, I will abandon my family. Like they go right to that fear. And just a quick side note on that.

 

I feel that the women we do hear these stories about, and there are. Those stories, those that abandon everything, including their families, to me are most often women who have suppressed their wants for far too long until everything broke. I have talked about this story before, and I have to just share it here because it really connects back to one of my fears of being selfish and wanting more.

 

Before I dated my husband, Brad, I seriously dated another guy. And a lot of people in our friendship groups and in our neighborhood. I knew that I was quote unquote, unofficially engaged to this guy. And I would say we were not, but whatever, that's just how it was known. The point is, is we were pretty serious, like Napoleon dynamite serious.

 

And we were talking about one day if we're married and we have kids. And I was just talking about when I'm a mom and my kids are a little older, I can't wait to learn Spanish on the side, or I think I want to take. Guitar lessons and maybe some art lessons. And I just rattled off a few of other things that I would love to explore more of in my life.

 

Some interests that I had even then and this guy looked at me and he said, isn't that selfish? And I always have to end that story. By insisting something that's really important. This was a good guy. This was not some bad villainous guy, but he had that fear in him that leaning into your own personal wants is selfish.

 

And even though that time that was a red flag for me, I totally adopted this fear myself. And that's what stuffed down. Me wanting more in my life and being okay with wanting more and, and following that more in my life. Before we fully flesh out what your wants are, you do need to start with naming your fears.

 

What are you afraid of? Have you been taught that it's wrong to want things? That a discontent woman is a dangerous, selfish woman, that if you explore and lean into more of what you want, that you'll only think of yourself, that your family and your responsibilities will suffer if you have wants and you pursue them.

 

I want to adamantly and bluntly say this to you. Those fears are not true. True. Back when I couldn't even name my wants, I knew that my repression of them was doing me and my family no favors. Instead of feeling content, even though I had demanded of myself to feel content for many years, I felt other things instead that really surprised me.

 

I felt a lot of resentment, a lot of jealousy, and a lot of anger. Those three dominant emotions became a big part of my personality. And that was a big personality shift because that is not who I am. I don't like these feelings, mostly because I knew they were hurting my most important relationships.

 

Also, I found them really confusing. Like why was I feeling these things when I only had the best intentions? I was doing my best to put myself and my wants aside so I could be the kind of mother and wife I wanted to be. So why were those very things suffering? Because I was living what I thought was a pretty selfless life.

 

At this time, I was super lucky to attend a workshop. By Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife. She's been on the show many times, and this workshop was called and still is called the art of desire. This was actually the first workshop Jennifer ever taught and the things she kept saying throughout the, I think it was a three or four hour workshop.

 

She kept saying throughout the workshop. Oh my gosh, we're going to need more time. We need more time. And that three or four hour workshop is now a days long experience experience, because this is so much to unpack. Her main topic was, and it's still the same, women need to be more in tune with their desires and doing so will benefit and bless every part of their lives.

 

In other words, for desires, is wants. When I sat and listened to this workshop, it was a completely novel concept to me. One that Initially filled me with all the fears, uh, we've mentioned because I had nowhere to go, but up though, I took up Jennifer's advice and I started to live out what she taught me beginning with even opening myself up to the idea of being a person who was allowed to want things and doing that long story short is what began the years long journey that not only changed my life, but my entire families.

 

So for those of you who feel those fears that you will be selfish and grateful. Demanding, disruptive of your family and banning your responsibilities. I want you to just know about what my life is like right now. I actually want more out of my life still. I have so many wants ranging from big to small, from internal to external, from achievements to feelings.

 

I want more out of my life. And I've also never been more fulfilled and content. Yes, you hear me saying that I am both wanting more. And I am more content than ever. Those feelings of resentment, jealousy, and anger. Those feelings do not lead my life anymore. I am not running from my responsibilities. I'm actually showing up to them with myself intact.

 

I am not selfish. I have more to give from. I haven't ruined my family. In fact, I've saved it. And that's a whole other story for another time. Whatever your fears are behind wanting more, I want you to know they are valid fears. But they aren't real. I want you to push against the fears by anchoring into this truth instead.

 

When you feel that fear, remind yourself, wants are good. It's okay to want more. In fact, I would go as far to say that what you want is a reflection of who you really are deep down. Now that we've really leaned into the fears behind why we are afraid of going after more, as well as the importance of wanting more in our lives, it's time to reach for more.

 

Next up, I'll help you get more clarity on what more you want of in your life, how to get there. Including the importance of honoring the limitations of your season. But first a quick break for our sponsors. So the day this episode is airing is January 1st. And to me, that's one of the most exciting days of the year.

 

And I know that people love to poke fun at how well excited people get to remake themselves starting today, but I find it a beautiful thing. It's the kind of. All things are possible energy that I think we should absolutely lean into. However, I think we should lean into it with a bit more wisdom, more intention, and more reality.

 

When I was first leaning into more again in my life, I was not at the point where I was ready or even able to make goals. Um, so whether or not you are a goals person or a resolutions person, I want to help you with both stating And naming what you want more of and work on the how part of it. So that way you can begin to strategize it.

 

I think this is really, really important. And what I'm about to share with you could actually be used as an alternative to making goals. If you are just not in that place or you want to try something different this year, but it can also act as a way for you to build better goals and resolutions this year, because these things will be based in.

 

Who you are and what you actually want, and not what you think you should want. So I am going to walk you through what I'm calling the Moore guide guide. Oh, actually let's change that guide to more. That sounds a lot better. And this is actually going to be a totally free resource. And it's available to you at aboutprogress.

 

com slash more. Um, I'll walk you. Generally through what this guide entails so that way you can get a little preview But also so that you can begin to work on this on your own whether or not you end up getting the guide And I think this is especially important after you've already named your fears and you've anchored into the truth That wanting more out of your life is a good thing.

 

It's okay to want more So feel free to listen through all of this and then you can follow up with the guide on your own time but Don't let you not having the guide in your hand stop you from listening for starters, but also starting to think this through here. The guide is just the next step up, but you can listen now and begin to answer these questions in your own mind.

 

And that will honestly help you a lot. So the way I see what we need to do next, after we have named our fears and we've anchored into the truth, we then need to name our wants. And then strategize based on our season. So with this, let's talk about naming your wants. I have a couple ways to do this. First is actually starting with what you lack.

 

This is especially good for those of you who struggle to just name Your wants. If I point to you and say, what do you want? And you're like, Oh, I don't know. Okay. This is where you can actually start is it's opposite. What you feel you are lacking. So pay attention to the things you feel like you are lacking, or maybe some jealousy comes up or resentment.

 

Those are all signs to things that you feel you are lacking, which actually points to what you want more of. Uh, these are great clues for what you actually want. So do you feel like you are lacking fun? Maybe you need to have a fun hobby or to prioritize more fun as a family. Are you feeling jealous over someone who's maybe going back to school or running a race that looks really cool or picking up a hobby that sounds interesting?

 

That tells you that there's something about that thing. that you want, whether it's the actual thing or something about it. Are you feeling resentment over something like how little time you are getting to yourself? Um, then that's what you want more of. You want more time to yourself. So starting with what you are feeling lack in is a great way to show you what you want more of.

 

The next step to naming what you want more of is naming feelings. And I mentioned this early on, so I don't have to expand on this a lot. But essentially what kind of feelings do you want more of in your life? I want more excitement. I want more peace. I want more steadiness. I want more joy. Uh, kind of naming those feelings act as a great compass, I think to the literal things that you want more of.

 

And that's actually the next category. So the next category to naming what you want is the literal things you want. Now I have broken this. A lot more, um, I've broken this down a lot more in the guide, and I'm going to tell you what categories I put under literal. So the literal things you want more of include.

 

What habits and routines you want, what systems at home and or work that you want, what hobbies you want, what things underneath health you would like more of, spirituality, relationships, ambitions. So you kind of walk through those things. What's the habit that I really want in my life? What's a hobby I would love to lean more into?

 

What's the thing I want in terms of my relationships? What do I want more of within my relationships? What do I want more of within my health? Using that lens of what do I want more of in these areas, I think are a great way for you to better name what you want, and also somehow better weed through the shoulds.

 

Because all those same categories have a lot of shoulds that we could easily list off, but if you're making the point being about what do I want more in this area, it will give you that clarity you need. And also, going back to the feelings, the feelings will also guide what you want, literally, too. If I want More joy.

 

And I'm looking at these categories. I think, well, a hobby that could add more joy would be this, or something I could do within my relationships would create more joy if I were to prioritize this. I think you're getting all of this, right? So we've named what we lack. We've named what we want more of feeling wise.

 

We want, we are labeling and naming what we want more literally. And then there's the fourth area here, which is the hard To name once. And this is where it might not be a feeling. It may not be something that is quite literal in terms of like, um, an achievable thing. Like I'll know I can reach this literal outcome when I have this hobby or when we go on more date nights for our relationships, things like that.

 

But it's still something in your heart. It's calling to you. Like maybe I want more ambition. Maybe something that's hard for you to name is I just want to grow more or. I want to feel more like myself. The hard to name section is hard to name. So that part of the guidebook would just be a little bit more of a blank space for you to kind of do whatever comes to mind and let yourself almost, um, freestyle at, you know, just to not overthink it, to brainstorm in a way, what are some hard to name parts of your life that you want more of?

 

After we have named our wants, then we move on to strategizing and the strategizing is where we get clear on the how, but with a very important caveat that we do so with Our season in mind too often, the problem I see with goalmaking during this time of year is that we strategize without taking into account what our reality is like, what's your energy like right now, what are the circumstances in your work and family that might influence your time, your energy, your capacity, uh, what else is going on financially or within your relationships or your health that are important to your season?

 

That's where you actually need to take a little bit of time to level with yourself about where am I right now? What is my life like right now? And this is where many of us will feel a little bit of disparity between what we want and what our life is. Literally is, or how, what we want can compete with how much time, energy or money that we have.

 

And this is where I'm going to tell you, I'm not going to toxic positivity, guilt, shame you on this and just say, decide today's your day and do it now because you're the only one in charge of your life. While there is a big part of, you know, inner motivation and, and having that strength of resolve and anchoring into your wants, while that all matters, we can't just.

 

Hop over the fact that we have special needs kids, or that we're in a really hard season health wise, or we are very financially strapped and we need a new job. So it's important for you to know those things, not so you limit what you want, but so that you can pursue what you want in ways that are actually realistic.

 

So you just don't keep going down this cycle that You have these big things and you own them, but your life doesn't work with them. And so you keep just thinking nothing is possible. Instead, what we do is we acknowledge where we're at in our season, and we actually accept the limitations of our season.

 

And this may be surprising to you because you might think that will make me just stay stuck. The opposite is actually what happens when you accept the limitations of your season. It actually frees you up to have more possibility to think more outside of the box about what you can do to still lean into maybe starting with the feelings.

 

Like maybe I don't have time to go back to medical school like I really want to do. Like that is That is a very specific ambition that I can name. This is not me. I'm just giving an example. I do not want to go to medical school. I cannot handle blood and science and chemistry and all that stuff anyway.

 

But let's say that that is something for you. You can name, I have a clear want to go to medical school. And then when you think about your season right now, well, your season is that Your, your spouse just lost their job. And that's what needs to happen right now is, is supporting them while they find their job or getting your, your job.

 

Okay, getting a new job for you so that you can help support the family and work through this difficult period. So it's not the right time for you to be studying for the exams that lead to medical school. Or maybe you have A kid that needs you around a lot more than they did in the past, or maybe that they had continued to need more of you.

 

And that's just the season for now, for whatever needs they have. So you know that medical school is not in the future right now. When you accept the limitations, like right now, I can't go to medical school, even though that is the ambition I have, I can accept my limitations. Well, what about medical school appeals to me?

 

Maybe it's the feelings of pushing myself. Maybe it's some of the literal stuff of being able to take more time for my own interests. And that would be something that would really help me feel like me more. Maybe it's. Feeling like we would need to have more systems in place at home to enable me to have those times.

 

So I can work on having systems to give myself more time to have my own interests. Um, see how that can still give you some more sense of possibility to lean into your more still, but in a way that's realistic to your season. And if you're still struggling with this idea, I totally get it. It's a pretty big idea.

 

I did a whole episode on this in 2020 Yes, and it's actually one of my favorite episodes and I get a lot more personal about some special needs that we have in our family and how owning those special needs for me and the limitations they've brought to our family has actually freed me to step up to them better and in ways where I'm still honoring my own wants but maybe in different ways than I would even want to.

 

So I will link to that episode in the show notes for you. And. Again, I just want to level with you. It's okay that your season isn't matching exactly what you want. 2023 was that season for me. I had a lot of wants, both literally and feeling wise and even hard to name wise, that it just wasn't my season.

 

With adjusting to a fifth child and all that entailed, and some other special needs that came apparent in our family. It wasn't the season, but I was still able to own that and lean into other things that still helped me feel like myself. And I'm guessing 2024, we'll have those curve balls thrown at all of us too.

 

So accept and acknowledge the limitations of your season and still look back on your list of what you've already made, especially if you're following the guide and reach for more. In areas that, you know, can still happen, especially when you're giving yourself more of that, that idea of what is possible here.

 

So after you have one acknowledged and accepted the limitations of your season, you then do these next two big steps. First is, you know, after you choose one of those things or a few of those things, and I would start small, choose one of those things and sit in this place of casting a vision. Think about where would I like to be?

 

With this thing by the end of 2024, what will it look like to have more in this area of my life? How will it feel? How will I know when I've reached that more I'm looking for? Cast a vision. Get really clear on what it will look like, feel like, and from there, then you plot your first steps. Notice that I did not say lay out all the steps.

 

Break them down and then work backwards and lay them all out month by month until you know their exact plan. You could do that. You could do that. But to me, I think it's, it feels more doable and I actually can get more in the momentum that I need to just focus on than one of my first steps. Because as I Start sometimes for me, especially, um, when I'm thinking about the big picture, I get really overwhelmed.

 

And then even just the process of trying to lay out the whole big picture and all the steps prevents me from even starting anything because it takes so much energy to plot it all out. So instead, this is my little trick. I just think about what are my next first steps. And this is where you just Ask yourself, what is the, what is the first step?

 

And it's just a small doable step. And you can do that by just brainstorming. What could the first steps be? Well, let's say that you want more fun and that one is still something you feel like within your season and the limitations of your season. You can still honor. I want more fun in my life. You can brainstorm.

 

Well, well, first you cast a vision. What would that look like? How would it feel? How would I know if I've gotten more fun in my family? And that will give you a lot of ideas on what different things you can do, whether it's having more adventures as a family or having family traditions, or being able to have a fun hobby for yourself or taking more fun date nights or going out with friends more, you know, you get more ideas.

 

Then from there, you think, well, what are the first steps of any of those things I want? The first step would be maybe telling our friends, Hey, this year, just texting your friend and saying, Hey, this year I want to go to dinner more with you. Are you game? Do you see how I didn't say, you're going to say to your friend, hi, I have a 12 month calendar spread and the first Monday of each month, we are going to trade off who's planning a night together and we got to invite the whole neighborhood and actually this is going to be a big event.

 

So, you know, you just don't spiral there. Just think about what's the first step. I'm going to text a friend and see if they want to join me and having fun every now and then going out together. Maybe another first step is I need to research where a local class is that i'm really interested in. Like it would be really fun for me to do pottery.

 

So the first step is Googling pottery studios. I'm sorry if i'm saying that completely wrong ceramic studios. Do you see how this is just more about? Brainstorming the first steps. So with a strategy, we talked about acknowledging and owning, accepting your limitations, cast a vision, plotting your first steps.

 

If all that feels really overwhelming for you. Um, or if you're able to work through that, this is the final thing I want you to do. And it's the last step in the guide. It's a fill in the blank. And it looks like this. I want more fill in the blank in 2024. I'm getting there by fill in the blank. This helps you really center in what do you want more of in 2024.

 

And what will you do to get there? And your answers may surprise you. Maybe you realize, I want more Let's go back to that fun example. I want more fun in 2024. I'm getting there by And maybe you first think, like, I have to list all the different ways I'm actually going to do that, but instead you realize, I'm getting there by making better trade offs in my life, and knowing that I can't do it all.

 

Or, I'm getting there by hiring a sitter more often. Or, I'm getting there by making sure I'm prioritizing myself every single day. It might surprise you because it might be something you didn't even have on your list or your first steps or anything at all. So I want to end this episode with that prompt for you.

 

What do you want more of in 2024? And how will you get there? I want to end with me. I want more fun, more adventure, more connection, more creativity. I want more movies, more sourdough, more date nights, more traditions as a family. I want more one on one dates with my kids. I want more listeners for the podcast.

 

I want more sponsors, more money to take the show to the next level. I want more early bedtimes and early wake times. I want more journaling, art, calories. I want more goal making and tracking. I want more me in 2024. Especially after a year where I felt like I had to fight really, really hard to begin to feel like myself again.

 

What do you want more of? And how can you start to get there? Before we go, if you're struggling with naming any of these things, if you're struggling to name your wants, and it's still so far fetched, even if you've done the guide, or maybe you're still too intimidated by the guide, it's okay to put this whole thing aside.

 

Instead, I'd actually start by making your own do something list. Sometimes, and this was most definitely true for me, our sense of self has been so repressed, so buried for so long, that what you actually need to do is start just by finding more of you. If you need help doing that, mid January, I'm going to host a workshop on this.

 

It's free. And it's a do something list workshop. In it, in an hour and a half, I'm going to help you get to the place where you have your list in hand, or you're almost there. So it's like, we're actually going to do the work. You're going to have time to do it live with me and the other women. And there's a replay available too, if you can't make the time.

 

So you can get that at aboutprogress. com slash DSL workshop. And if you still want to go for the guide, again, remember that's aboutprogress. com slash more. Let's end where I began. I told you how afraid I was.

 

It took a lot of time, I would say many months, almost up to the full year since this all began, where I realized I, all I wanted was more and it was terrifying, but I can honestly tell you that I have made peace with my appetite for more. I've had to own that it's okay to want more, and that I always will want more.

 

And that's not a bad thing. That's part of being human, but it's also part of being me. The key is to let myself be the one leading what I want more of, and doing that in a way where I can stand by the actions that follow. And that even includes how I am ensuring I'm listening to my body and feeding my body and My cravings, my hunger cues, my fullness cues, all of the above in a weird, weird ways, better honoring my appetite just literally with my body has also helped me make peace a lot with me.

 

Do you want to be more yourself? Do you want to have more to give from? Do you want to model for your kids that a fully defined woman is a healthy woman? Do you want them to have something to look forward to when they're adults too? Then make room for more. Remember that it's okay to want.

 

I hope this episode gave you the hug and kick in the pants you need to grow. I'm so glad you were here. 2024 has so much possibility and I'm ready to lean into it. And I hope you are too. I do not have progress pointers from this episode. I do have the guide though. The guide is where it's going to be.

 

All laid out for you, uh, includes the fears that you can name. It includes what to anchor into. It also includes how to name what you want more of, and also how to strategize. And those are really what the progress pointers are. Like this is how we make space for more. So you can get that at aboutprogress.

 

com slash more. And again, I would love to see you in the do something list workshop. You can sign up at aboutprogress. com slash DSL workshop. Now this has been a full episode about more, and I have more coming for you on. Thursday. Instead of doing the messy middle episode, you just heard from me about my messy year.

 

Um, review, and now, um, it's so soon that I'm actually going to be doing a different episode and I'm going to announce something really exciting and it has to do with more and also has to do with me getting more personal and ways that we are going to open up more possibility for this work. For this community and ways that are both necessary and really, really exciting.

 

So stay tuned for that. Again, thank you so much for listening. Now go and do something with what you learned today.

 

I think most women feel very voracious after the voracious.

 

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