I used to let my inner critic be the loudest voice in the room. It was forcing me to be an over achieving perfectionist that was never satisfied with anything, and only ever increasing in demands. This cycle persisted for years, until I began a little experiment that led to where we (you and me!) are today.

My whole life changed when my inner voice went from being one of criticism, to one of self-compassion. I used to think that if I was gentler on myself, it would work against me. The opposite turned out to be true. This episode is a retelling of my own progress-over-perfection journey with an emphasis on the few key things that have made all of the difference. Plus, a little more on that initial experiment that turned into the podcast and teaching platform I never knew I needed.

About a few other things...

Do you struggle to create habits that stick? It's not your fault. The truth is simple: you've been trying to form habits using methods designed for perfect robots--not real women living real lives. It's time to change that. If I could help you gain confidence in creating habits AND guide you to uncover the ONE supportive habit to deeply care for yourself, could you commit 21 days to learning this method? The Sticky Habit Method is a 21-day course that revolutionizes the habit-formation process. It's real habits for real women.

Sign up for the Go Getter Newsletter to get Progress Pointers in your inbox every Tuesday.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/progress and get on your way to being your best self.

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TRANSCRIPT

Monica: Welcome to About Progress. I'm Monica Packer, a regular mom and recovering perfectionist who uncovered the truest model to dramatic blasting personal growth. It's progress made practical. Join us to leave the extremes behind and instead learn how to do something to grow in ways that.

Did you know that failing at your habits is a very important part of the habit formation process? It's true, and I teach you how to make failure part of forming good habits. With my new course, The Sticky Habit Method, you can enroll by going to about progress.com/sticky habit method.

I used to think that the only way to grow to get better at something that was really important to me, but the only way to do it was to be very, very hard on myself. I was talking about this with a friend the other day about this memory that came back to me of spending routine nights. Where I was a up really late at night.

You all know my reformed night owl tendencies, right? But what I was doing during these nights were not about, it was not about homework or getting things done. These nights were simply about me getting way down with my inner critic. I could only see all the ways in my life that I was falling short, and I felt so much despair and deep sadness and disappointment in myself.

I'd eventually drift off to sleep. But these critical sessions, these self critic sessions really ended with me just saying, You must do better. Monica, you must.

That inner critic really controlled a lot of my teens and young adulthood as an overachieving perfectionist, no surprise there, but it also reigned supreme as the underachieving perfectionist when all I could see were the critical ways I was falling short and simply demand for myself that I must do better.

When I shifted to embracing progress over perfection, my whole life changed. But one of the biggest reasons why was because my inner voice changed. I shifted from the inner critic to another voice that was based in compassion, a kind of compassion that I previously thought would work against the ways I wanted to grow, but I found the opposite was.

This is why I'm so happy to be sharing with you a really special interview I recorded back in August for an amazing podcast called Common Kindness. I have had Becky and Candace on my show in the past. They are the founders of Mindful Art Co. And their podcast. Common Kindness is all about helping you tap into your inner friendship voice one based in self compass.

and back in the early fall, they were doing a self-compassion stories series that I was so grateful to take part in, and it was such a lovely experience that I wanted to share this interview with you today in its entirety, starting with Becky and Candace's intro, just because I love them so much and I love what they do so, so much.

As you listen, I want you to learn from my experience hopefully how shifting from self-criticism to self-compassion will expedite your progress.

Candace and Becky: Hey everybody. It's Candace and Becky from Mindful Art Company. Hi everyone, and you are listening to Common Kindness, a mindfulness podcast for finding your friendly inner voice. We talk about the real art and science of self-compassion and help you make kindness more common in your life, starting with yourself exactly where you're at.

Hi everybody. Welcome to the third episode of our new minis series called Self-Compassion Stories. It's powerful to hear examples from real people about how they have changed simply by being kind to themselves, and today is so awesome. I'm, We're so excited because it's our very first guest, . Yay. We never ever had a guest before.

Yes. Hi Monica. Hello. Monica Packer is on our show today. Yes, and it's super fitting to have her first because she is actually. Our podcast teacher from Podcast University and Full circle. Full circle. We've been on her podcast. Yeah. Seriously. Full circle. Because we, I mean I, Monica, I think it was, you were our very first podcast that we ever went on.

Oh, that's true. So I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure from my, Oh, we're so excited. So it is a full circle. So Monica, will you kind of introduce yourself and let our listeners know what it is that you want them to know about you?

Monica: Yeah, I mean, I'll try to not make this like a bio for whatever dating apps are popular right now.

It's like, I can't even think of one off the top of my head, but swipe right. Where I'll all swipe and Right with the, Yeah, I'm, we're direction , So I'm Monica, I, I live in the Salt Lake area. I love what you said there as part of that intro, like, so much compassion real women. I very much j with both of those cuz I would consider myself a very real woman.

I, I struggle with a lot of things that everybody struggles with, just feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin. I, I have you know, some special needs kids that I've really humbled me a lot, the last 11 years. I've got one on the way that's humbling me already. And , I feel like though, with those things being said, the reason why I feel like I show up to this podcast and feel confident and in my own skin and sure of myself is because I've done a lot of work with compassion, with self-compassion, especially over the last seven years as I've worked to find who I was outside of perfectionism, perfectionism really did rule my life for, I would actually not even say for better, for worse.

I would just say for straight up worse, whether the times I was like a super achieving perfectionist to the times I was on the sidelines. You know, paralyzed perfectionism both the all or nothing cycle. I mean, it was terrible. Both sides of it. I, I feel like I've learned so much about how to grow and how to be real and how to be myself, but also feel supported and work hard and find that balance or at least a teeter-totter balance the last seven years.

And it's all built on this. This topic today. So I'm thrilled to be here. Oh, I guess I should say I'm a podcaster at about progress, which is basically what you just heard me say. But like more, I interview people. I do teach a lot on there. All that kind of stuff.

Candace and Becky: Oh, and you got a cool course. Tell us about your course.

Monica: I accidentally got into habit formation, which was not the plan. So I actually teach about habits a lot too. I teach a lot about identity and fulfillment too. But habits are, are what make those two things possible. How to feel like you can be supported in who you are and what matters to you, and how you can make time for the things that matter to you too.

Habits are, what are the foundation to those things. So I accidentally fell into it. The habit class or course is called the Sticky Habit Method and it's new and I've, I've been enjoying it so much.

Candace and Becky: Yeah, I'm super excited to hear a little bit more about it because habits have always been a little bit of a turn off to Becky Uhhuh, even me a little bit for sure.

So, so we're Oh, me too. So we're excited. Okay. Everything. Well, for sure. Hold on just a second, Becky. I wanna make sure our, our listeners know that we, we will link a ways to find Monica in our show notes. So we will link everything, her habits course and her podcast. So if you hear something on here and you wanna swipe right, we will make that possible in our show notes. Swipe right on Monica. Nice connection, . Okay, so every episode starts with this quote, and it's by Carl Rogers. And the quote is, The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. So we wanna know when this happened for you, Monica, if you have like a specific example or a time in your life or whatever.

When did this ring true for you?

Monica: Mm-hmm. . So seven years ago is when I began this, what has now become a year's long experiment and it was also quite accidental. Seven years ago, plus I had my third baby who was six months old. I was six months from turning 30, so now I'm 36 and a half. And anyway, at that point I realized, holy cow, I, I don't know who I am.

Like I, I, I don't know who I am. I. I don't have anything happy in my life that I'm proud of besides my children. And even then, the way I was showing up to my children was not a happy person. It was somebody else. It wasn't me and I didn't like who I had become. . You know, I, not only did I not know know who I was, I also don't like who I was being, I was resentful.

I was short-tempered. I, I'm not an angry person. Like, I'm not, that's not typically my personality, but I've learned that I tend to navigate to anger over feeling hard feelings, like I'd rather feel angry than sad. Mm-hmm. , or I rather feel mad than overwhelmed or anxious. and because of those things all coming together ahead, I, I, I had to pinpoint that one of the biggest things holding me back in my life was that all on a thing cycle I brought up earlier.

For me it was perfectionism. There were only to be a good blank or to be good at blank. And the model, the only model I knew that existed was all or nothing. And for years all worked for me. It really did. I was about as overachieving as you could get. Mm-hmm. in every way, every way of my life. And then, you know, as a young 20 year old, my life really did crash and burn.

Like I paid almost every price that could be paid, even with my life. Like I almost died over this. Like, it, it was that dire. And then after that, I took 10 years off from trying because I thought I can't do that. I know the cost I paid and I can't pay that cost anymore. So yes, I can be a good teacher cuz I taught several years in middle school.

I can be a good wife, I can be a good follower in my faith, I can be a good mom and I can do those things well. But anything else that's outside of my roles or my responsibilities, I didn't, I just took off the table. You know, because I just didn't know how, I didn't know how to do it outside of the all or nothing model.

So then at 30, almost 30 is when I was like, That's not working for me either. So I actually started that experiment. Wanting to call it mediocre Monica, where I was finally gonna get off the sidelines for my life and learn how to be mediocre and be okay with being mediocre. And a big part of that was the compassion piece to me, because the all or nothing model compassion has no part in it.

Like it literally does not exist. And that model, cuz either you are, you know, punishing your. By like, I must do this, must, must mess. It's all should based. Right? Or you are shaming and blaming yourself for not being able to uphold it. Right? And because of that, with this, with this experiment, I said I had to learn compassion.

That was fundamental. That is where it had to start with learning to be okay that I didn't like who I was and I didn't know who that, who I wanted to be. And that I had a lot of changing to do and it needed to be done differently than I ever had before. And that was the point. That was okay. That was absolutely okay.

So that started the change for me.

Candace and Becky: Yeah. Just accepting mediocre Monica. Yes. . And you saw, I mean, Candace and I were looking at this quote, we were talking about it and that it just happens, that change. And in fact, he says, Carl Rogers, we saw that he actually wrote this too, which I think goes along with what you're saying.

"We cannot change. We cannot move away from what we are until we have thoroughly, Until we thoroughly accept what we are, then change seems to come about almost unnoticed."

Monica: Yes. All kinds of light bulbs on that. I mean, he clearly was a famous psychologist, Right. Psychiatrist. Mm-hmm. researcher for a reason.

Yeah. He knows the stuff. Yeah. And I would say that progression is very natural. Yeah.

Candace and Becky: Was it, It was unnoticed for you almost, where you, it sounds like you were trying so hard before for all those years and then trying so hard to shove it away. And it wasn't until you said, Yeah, you know what, I'm mediocre.

And it's, That's just what it is. It's neither bad nor good. It just, this is just what is Yes. And then that's when the change came and you probably didn't even notice a lot of it.

Monica: Yeah. The paradox is every area of my life has improved dramatically and exponential. Than before when I was on the all or nothing track, and the shame and blame and no compassion track.

Like my life has improved in every way. And I would say I'm a completely different person. But the the truth is, it's not that I'm a different person, that's that I'm myself now. Right? And I'm okay that I'm a work in progress.

Candace and Becky: And you as a paradox feel like there was a sp, like a like one, like can you remember one day or where you were like this the I, I gotta be done with this. I've gotta be done with this side and I've gotta be done with this side and I gotta find that still point. Mm-hmm. in the middle. Yeah. Or was it more of a gradual thing where you just kind of looked back and said, Oh, I am living a little bit more mediocre now. I'm gonna keep going with that direction.

What was it for you?

Monica: It was both, but I will say it was sandwiched by one moment that was similar. Divided by time, Like there was lots of time in between. You know the nutshell version of this is the realization of being me, being like, not only do I not know who I am, I don't like whoever I'm being came with one of those rage moments.

Oh, I have my kids like a mommy tantrum over spilled bubbles that my daughter had one, one spilled bubble outside, you know, s spraying it off the wall. I'm doing that. She proceeds to spill like a 64 ounce gallon of bubbles inside. Mm-hmm. The house on a wool rug that covers the wood floor with a baby crying and everyone else screaming.

And, you know, that was the moment of like me nashing and wailing my teeth and like realizing I was scaring my kids, you know, like I wasn't hurting them, but I was sure terrifying them. Mm-hmm. that, that was like, things need to change. Mm-hmm. , I am, I am flying off the handle over things that do not matter. And so that moment, that was a clear moment where I was like, things need to change now.

I had already started therapy before that, so I also had like several moments of uncovering with my therapist who helped me see that I was still a perfectionist. Like I didn't even think I qualified anymore cause I wasn't doing anything good enough to qualify to be a perfectionist besides being a mom.

And I was feeling at that then too. And my, you know, quest to only sacrifice myself to to motherhood. . But you know, then I started that experiment I talked about, and I didn't really think much was changing. I was just being mediocre, you know? And strangely I was gaining courage, like to try new things.

That's why I started my podcast because for six months, part of my mediocre Monica track was to write a blog. Nobody read it. It was not a success, and I kept writing it and I realized like, Wow, it doesn't matter. Nobody's reading it, but I'm finding fulfillment in this. I'm like finding my voice again. I'm leaning into a hobby I used to have, but I was doing all these other things like cooking, interior design, like well throwing spaghetti in the wall, right?

So nothing was sticking there. Like I wasn't becoming successful in all these spaghetti pieces. I was starting to the wall, but then I had a moment and I would think it was like about a year and a half or two years. To this experiment. I didn't even know I was doing an experiment. I just was trying to like have, get back on the train, you know?

Yeah. Get off the sidelines. But this moment was similar because I was yet again cleaning up a mess I didn't make. Yeah. And I was sweeping the floor for like the fifth time that day on our terrible linoleum kitchen floor at our 70 year old house that would tear if I even, you know, put a toil against it wrong. And I was sweeping up the floor and I had this thought that literally stopped me in my tracks. And the, and the thought was, I feel so fulfilled. Oh, and so my life had not changed much. Like I still had, I didn't know it yet at the time. Highly needs, special needs kids that were not diagnosed yet. I, I still had my husband working around the clock.

We almost never saw him. I still had very little money. I couldn't hire out support. Like so much of my life was the same, but I was different. and I was showing up to it differently, and that meant my responsibilities felt different. I was stronger. And I was able to, like I said, not just change how I was, I was able to be myself again and show up to the spilled milk or bubbles or sweeping up the floor, or even like a baby pooping in a sink, which happened too, like, you know, stuff like that that I was like, Oh, not the worst place to poop.

I mean, I could think of a lot more. I'll save you the story, but I will say that that was a sandwich moment for me. I'm sure you do. But yeah, that was one of those sandwich moments for me where I was like, I didn't know how far I had come until I could see it in hindsight. And that's been true for the other like, you know, five years since then, like progress.

It's always hindsight and the biggest thing I've learned about growth and, and then I'll stop there cuz I know I'm gonna go on and and on, but I've learned as part of this, that the transformation lies in the process, not the outcome. Before my life was all about outcomes, Good or bad.

Candace and Becky: Can you repeat that again, Monica?

Monica: Yep. The transformation lies in the process, not the outcome. I had no outcome to prove my change, my transformation and no outcome fulfilled me. It was the process of becoming myself and showing up differently to my life and bettering myself outside of the all or nothing model. Bettering myself with compassion as the foundation that transformed me.

It was not any apparent measure of success that I could show with an outcome. And that's been true because boy have I faced a ton of failures the last seven years too. Mm-hmm. and some that have, you know, literally made me go to my knees. But I show up differently to the failures too. Yeah. Much more after the break.

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Candace and Becky: That's beautiful. So Monica, I have been thinking through these I mean specific examples, but also just really grateful that you shared. A wide range of time too. Because I think that's how compassion works, right? The transformation that you're talking about is it can happen in those small moments.

Yeah. But then the more that they do happen in the small moments as you zoom out, Then you can see that transformation. And so I really appreciate you sharing that with our listeners because we are all, all of our days are made up of those little moments, right. And I wish that we could all zoom out and see what the next seven years is gonna bring for us and which moments are gonna include compassion and which ones maybe won't.

But I think it's really inspiring to listen. To you be able to zoom out like that. Because I don't know, it gives, it gives me encouragement to do the same for my past, but also like hopeful that I can add a little bit more compassion to my future moments. So thank you so much.

Monica: Yeah. And I wanna highlight just one thing about that because it takes a whole lot of courage to believe in the number one ingredient to progress, which is time.

You don't see the changes you're making in real time. Very rarely. Very rarely. And you know, when I shared that the, the transformation lies in the process, not the outcome. I know what the process is, and I've defined it for myself and my community. The process is small wins build over time. And I had a client say this to me years ago when I was a brand new coach.

Never forgotten it. I have the worst memory in the world. . She says It takes a lot of courage to do the smallest of things. Yeah, and actually she said the greatest of courage to do the smallest of things. That's what I want women to, to get from this. Like have the courage to believe in the process enough to practice it.

That the small ways that you are working on yourself and trying to support yourself and improve yourself, the smallest of ways they are building and adding, and it just takes. Time. Right.

Candace and Becky: I once heard that you need to measure your life in little itty bitty teeny tiny little millimeters as opposed to, you know, like a meter or, you know, whatever.

Or mile. Right. Just it bitty teeny tiny things and that if we can measure it that way, then I, You're right. Things add.

Monica: It's disappointing to to know that overnight success is a lie, but it is. I sure wish for still. It's not a lie. Such a lie. I mean, I would love to have it. I've told Brad that all the time about my business.

I'm like, Boy, I'd sure love to be an overnight success by now. , you know, Or that to happen any day now. Any day. But that's not how it works.

Candace and Becky: Well, Candace knows I'm a supplement lover and every supplement I take is going to change my life. Yeah. Completely. I'm gonna drink this drink, I'm gonna take this, you know, whatever it is.

And I'm gonna feel like I'm superwoman at that. Especially, they sort of bid her out, burn out eventually, you know? But you're right. If we can just do those little, little teeny tiny things. Yes. And I love that you talked about mom rage. Mm-hmm. , because how real is that? And that it can start with a, at like a, an episode of mom rage, that that's where, that's where you find compassion.

Monica: Yeah, I have a lot of compassion for that young mom. Like if I look at her circumstances, no wonder why you are raging over little things because it's not a little thing. When you're not being supported, you're not supporting yourself. But yeah, it's, it's all connected. That's why I love this topic so much and the work you are doing on this mini series.

Candace and Becky: I think it's fantastic. Well, Monica, with a few minutes left. I, we cannot let you go without asking. How we can apply compassion to habits because yeah. This is something that seems also a little bit paradoxical, right? Like it seems like you have to be all or nothing for a habit to work. Mm-hmm. . And could you take a minute and just tell us a little bit about how we can be more compassionate with our habit making?

Monica: Of course. And I will say preemptively that I will do my best to do this without fire hosing information which has been my preferred mode of teaching that I'm working on.

Candace and Becky: We don't know anything about that. , Well, we never fire hose at all. Oh, I was gonna say that you haven't heard podcast there.

Complete balance.

Monica: We need each other. We're balancing each other out here. You do. So compassion, habit formation definitely seems paradox. , especially when you learn all about the habit methods that they teach you out there. So like if I were to ask you guys, how long does it take to form a habit? What number comes to mind?

Like how many? 21 days. Yeah. 21 days. Yeah. Most women say 21, 28 or even 100 days. And that's because we've learned that since we were in middle school, writing in our little health journals about what we were learning, what we were supposed to be implementing, you had to stick with the habit for a certain number of days for it to stay.

That is just one of the hundreds of examples I can give to you on how we were taught habit formation wrong. And I say, when I say we, I'm talking specifically to women, and I'll touch on that a little bit. But even that example, let's take that a little bit further. What that relies on is 100% rigidity, doing the exact same habit at the exact same time, in an exact number of days.

And if you mess up on day 19, forget. Oh yeah. Super easy to, to be bad at yourself and no, throw it all away. So even, you know, even these really popular methods that have had really successful books lately, like I read those, I started reading those like, you know, five or six years ago when I started to realize, oh, I know better who I am and what I need.

I need to support myself in these ways. Mm-hmm. and I read these books and I was really excited about them. I was like, Oh, this, you know, this is based off of really good science, like 21 days, 28 days, a hundred days. , things like that, but I found that even as I was trying to implement them, I wasn't able to do it.

I kept failing even at these methods that were supposed to work. Because Same here. Same here, Monica. Yes. Yes. And this is true for all. I mean like every woman I've ever worked with. And that actually was what I was gonna bring up. I started coaching women and habits had to be part of the coaching even though I did not plan on it initially.

And so I kept trying to insert these methods to what we were learning. And across the board, women who worked, who had children in the home, women who were retired, women who by choice had no children across the board. My clients kept failing, had these habit method. And there's a huge reason why that I'm gonna teach in a free class.

I'll tell you about later. But I will say the preview of that is it's because these methods are designed for robots, not real women leading real lives. They are all based in ideals and all are nothing. It's totally perfectionistic based. Even though we want those ideals and I wanna help women reach those ideals with their habits, we very few or rare, very rarely have ideal days as women.

Mm-hmm. and, and again, that's across the board. And I could teach you. The science research backed reason why that is in the free class, and I, and I'm only hinting at that because it would take me 45 minutes to teach on that, which is , why I'm talking about the course. But the reason I'm saying this right now to women is because compassion is one of the biggest missing pieces to those methods.

There is no room for an un ideal day. There is no room for flex. There's no room for a real life and women need to do things differently, not because we're like poor little women, and also not because like men are evil , you know, like, and we wanna blame everything on them either. But it's, it's because our lives are different, like science backs.

Our lives are different. And we have to be more flexible. We have to be able to show up different. With a very same habit based on the day that we're having. And not because we are giving ourselves a way out, but because we're giving ourselves a path forward, right? So, so that's what I've developed with my sticky habit method.

That's what the course is on, is how to help women build habits that stick outside of perfectionism. And it's the only way, honestly, it's the only way we can do it. We have to have compassion because the habit formation process is messy. Even if you start. Even if you are being realistic, even if you have a baseline that you keep coming back to, and these are all things I teach in the, in the course.

Even within that you will have habit fails. Even myself as now a habit expert, like I say that in quotes, but I legit have been like through coaching process, like a certification processes on this. I've worked with women for over four years, almost five years on this. Like I, even me as a habit expert, I have habit fails all the.

It's part of the process of habit formation. It's part of the process, and that's what women need to have as part of it is compassion to make room. To do things differently for starters, and also to have the flexibility and compassion that forming habits takes to, to, to be grace, Have grace with yourself as you've faced those failures.

But not only grace, but it's, it's just logical. Like it gives you information. All that. I'm, again, I'm trying not to go on the, the tangent, but they, they 100% go hand in hand. 100% compassion and habit formation.

Candace and Becky: Cool. I like to think about, Is for me, I embody self-compassion, which means when you're embodying it, you, you're, you're like living it, you're actually experiencing it.

So there really is no way to like be a total expert in it. I mean, whatever that word expert means, if that means yes. . You know, you, you never, you never, you know, you just totally do it all the time. No, but I know I embody it. So I think of that as like you embodying that habit formation that of course you're gonna mess up, have those days.

Not, you know, not not do it, but that's part of it. That's embodying it. Yep.

Monica: You expect it and then you learn better how to work through it. Yeah.

Candace and Becky: Yes. I mean, I wanna just say an amen. To everything you just said. I mean, it's really refreshing to think about making a habit along with compassion because even like, as ironically as it is, we would love to make, like Becky's saying, self-compassion, a quote unquote habit, but it works better if you embody it.

It works better if it's something that just becomes part of your life. And as I hear you, describing Habit formation in a healthier way. That is what it is. It's fitting it into your life instead of forcing it in, you know, flipping it around and saying, My life has to change this and that. It's saying, I'm gonna take this habit and find a way to fit it into my life in a healthy, compassionate way.

So thank you. Thank you Monica, for telling your story and also explaining this new way to look at habits. Will you tell everybody the name and the website that they go to if they do wanna learn more about the habits course.

Monica: Yes. Okay. So the course itself is the sticky habit method, and they can just find it on my website about progress.com/sticky habit method.

But that free class I mentioned, that's where women will stop the shame on blame. Cycles that they've been on with habit formation because they'll finally learn the truth and that it's not their fault. They've been set up to fail with habit formation. And I'll teach them the research about that. And again, this is for all women and that class is called the number one reason Why Women Must Do Habits differently.

It's a long title, but guess what, I had to have every word of that for many reasons. And I would love them for them to be there. It's, it's gonna be on September four. And they can sign up. It's a free class. Go to about progress.com/habit class, and that's one word. It's not plural. So habit class. And you know, even if this is past the date, still go check that out because I'm hoping to, you know, within a, a month or so, like I'll give myself some space there.

After the epi, after I teach the class, I'll put. A recorded version that people can always watch. I hope to have that up soon, so go check it out no matter what, but attending live is always the best. I think that they can.

Candace and Becky: Great. Well thank you so much for coming on Monica. Thank you guys so much.

I love talking to you.

And one last reminder. You don't need anything at all to make kindness more common in your life. You can start right now with yourself exactly where you're at.

Monica: I hope this episode gave you the hug and kick in the pants that you need to grow. Make sure you go and check out Common Kindness. It's a wonderful podcast, and they also have incredible products too, and services that they do online that I think you'll love. I. Now I don't have progress pointers from this episode.

I'm sorry to disappoint you if, if that's even remotely disappointing. But I do have a do something challenge for you, and that is to simply notice the inner self critics voice just start there. Just start by noticing it when it creeps up, how it sounds, what repeated things it loves to say to you. Maybe what settings it likes to especially double down on.

Just notice the inner critic and it's coming up. Is there someone in your life who you know has a really, really loud inner critic? Please pass this episode on to them. It really would mean a lot to me, of course, but I also hope it would help them in one simple way. I am so glad that you took the time to listen today.

Thank you. Now go and do something with what you learned today.